Many people see attending marriage counselling as a “last resort,” but the longer you wait before getting help, the lower your chances of effectively resolving the problems in your marriage. Studies show that couples are unhappy for an average of around six years before attending therapy, but if you’re dissatisfied in your relationship it’s better to avoid unnecessary delays. If you’re thinking about attending marriage counselling in Luton and Dunstable, you may be wondering if it’s too “extreme” a step to take, but finding out about when it’s time to seek help and what will happen at a session helps allay any concerns you may have about getting support.
Common Problems Addressed in Marriage Counselling
Couples or marriage counselling can be used to address any problems impacting your relationship, but there are many common issues brought up in marriage counselling sessions, including:
- Communication problems.
- Affairs or betrayals.
- Controlling behaviour.
- Abusive behaviour.
- Financial problems.
- Sexual issues.
- Work-related stress.
- Life changes.
- Differing goals and values.
This isn’t an exhaustive list, but it will give you an idea of common problems faced by couples.
When Should You Consider Marriage Counselling?
There’s no hard and fast rule as to when you should consider attending marriage counselling in Luton and Dunstable – generally speaking, if you’re unhappy with your marriage, it’s worth considering – but when communication has broken down and it seems like you can’t resolve the issues you’re facing, couples or marriage counselling can be beneficial. You might feel like you can’t have a conversation without devolving into arguments, and you might feel like those arguments are circular and unproductive, even ending in shouting, violence or other extreme behaviour. If issues aren’t resolved, resentment can creep up and drive a deeper wedge between you.
It might take a major betrayal – like an affair or secret – to encourage you to seek help, but waiting for something like this to happen isn’t ideal, because it allows issues to get more serious before you get support.
What Happens in Marriage Counselling
When you attend marriage counselling, your relationship itself is the “client,” rather than one specific individual, and it’s generally recommended that you attend together (although you can attend individually if this isn’t possible). The main aim of marriage counselling is to help you improve communication, learning skills to strengthen your bond and better cope with any issues that may crop up, but any specific problems you’re facing will also be addressed.
You analyse the current state of your relationship together, and with your counsellor encouraging you to address issues calmly and communicate your thoughts and feelings clearly, you get to the bottom of the problems you’re facing. The number of sessions depends on the severity of the issue – it could be just a few, or it could be numerous sessions over several months.
Marriage counselling isn’t about blaming one person for the problems in the relationship – counsellors are neutral, and don’t offer personal opinions on what’s going wrong or what you should do – it’s about learning the ways both of you can grow and develop in order to strengthen your bond. The counsellor won’t tell you whether or not to separate, but if you do decide that’s best, counselling will help you have an amicable parting.
If you want to find out more about how attending marriage counselling can help you, or what you can expect when you attend a session, get in touch with us today for an informal chat. We’ll be happy to answer any questions you may have, and if you want to go ahead you can arrange your first session. Don’t hesitate to get help if you’re relationship is going through a rough patch, get in touch today. For more information about our costs for marriage counselling services please see the about us page.